Silent
by Dream Out Loud 18
Summary: Jaz is getting tired of being a healer. So one day she just snaps. Jaz-centric. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own the Kane Chronicles. :(**

Jaz Anderson, healer. That seemed to be everything she was. A healer.

To put it _properly_, healer was a magician that could cure any magical wound or disease, or even mortal ones (just not cancer). But apparently, to everyone else, it meant a therapist.

Don't get her wrong - she loved helping people. Even as a little kid, even before she knew she was a healer, she was the girl everyone went to for comfort or just have her around to smile. But when the problems she listened to - the problems she held onto her shoulders as much as the person having them - turned into the most ridiculous things, Jaz resented being a healer.

To tell the truth? She blamed the Kanes.

Oh, yeah, sure. They had both helped her a ton with her magic and transfer from mortal to magician. And yeah, they were great friends who she loved (platonically) and would do anything for and she was fiercely loyal to them.

But when they needed comfort, they turned to her.

Sadie about the most ridiculous things that Jaz was tempted to put on her dorm door: "NO SADIE PROBLEMS ALLOWED". From whether or not she should get a dog to Anubis and Walt, Sadie's "problems", if it could even be called that, were ridiculous and something she could solve on her own. Jaz was tired of hearing how if Walt smiled at Sadie and that she should choose Walt instead of Anubis. _Hello, stop asking and think about it! You don't have to ask me to know!_ It was stuff like these that Jaz wished that Sadie was more tomboyish than she was - which was not much (whatever, she wears combat boots. That's the end of her tomboyish attitude).

Carter's problems were actually _deep_, but they got so _repetitive_. All of his problems included Zia - Zia this, Zia that - that as soon as Carter entered the room, the first thing Jaz would say would always, always be, "She's going through a difficult time, Carter. Don't blame it on yourself, Carter. Give her some time, Carter." And what did she get as a thank you?

"Thank you Jaz. You're a great friend, Jaz. I know I could count on you, Jaz."

But what happened to _her_ problems? Do all these people that turn to her for comfort know that she, too, is in pain? Half of Brooklyn House didn't even know she had siblings. It was always about _them _- _their_ problems, _their _struggles, _their _pain. What happened to _her_?

True, she didn't tell anyone - with the exception of Alyssa, her best friend - about her. But that was also because they didn't _ask_ about her back story. Alyssa was the only person who had ever asked - the only person who cared enough to know the real Jaz behind the beautiful face, to want to know the Jaz, to know that she was more than just another American blond blue-eyed cheerleader.

But there was one thing that even Alyssa didn't know. Jaz refused to tell her, because it would just bring painful memories to her friend - Jaz's mother was dying. At first, the breast cancer was thought to go away - it seemed harmless. But a sudden spasm, and it got worse. And Jaz wanted - _needed_ - to go back to Nashville to spend at least a bit more time with her family before...before...she refused to think of that word.

The only reason she was still in Brooklyn House was because of Alyssa...and Walt.

She couldn't even think his name without wincing. The search wasn't progressing. And Walt wasn't helping, either. He spent nearly 24/7 with Sadie, which didn't help Jaz's mood - it just made Sadie visit her for her "useless therapy sessions', as Jaz liked to call them, more.

Then Jaz thought of her little sister, and she snapped.

Her little sister, Cassie, was just five-years-old and was just too innocent. Too young to lose her mother. Her father was surely to be broken when her mother passed away, and her older brother, Bill, would be leaving for college soon - Cassie couldn't be left alone with a broken father. That sealed Jaz's decision.

She began to pack.

She was too focused into packing her stuff and going to Cassie as soon as possible, she didn't notice the door opening. She only noticed the intruder when she spoke.

"Are you sure you want to go, Jaz?" It was Alyssa.

Jaz nodded silently. "The only reason I'm needed here is to be a therapist and heal people. I'm of no real importance to anyone here except you, Alyssa. My family needs me."

"But I do too." Alyssa's voice was pained. "I need my best friend."

Jaz finally turned to her. "And I need you, Alyssa. I do. But...my mom..." Her voice trailed off. She choose her next words carefully. "She's not in the best state of health there is. And her end might be soon. And I need to take care of Cassie and Dad."

A look of understanding appeared in Alyssa's eyes, and she nodded. "I...I understand. Promise you'll Skype everyday?"

"I promise," Jaz confirmed. She wrapped her arms around Alyssa tightly. "I'll miss you, Cat," she whispered, unexpected tears forming in her eyes.

"I'll miss you too, Dove," Alyssa whispered, hugging the healer back tightly. "Visit once and a while, please?"

"I promise," Jaz whispered, before pulling away from the hug and grabbing her bag and guitar bag. "I love you as a sister, Ally," she said softly.

"I love you too as a sister, Jazzy." Alyssa smiled at Jaz, a single tear running down her face. "Now go before Sadie catches you."

Jaz nodded and gave Alyssa a final hug before rushing up to the roof to the portal and just minutes later, she was gone, to Nashville.

*::*::*

The next day, during breakfast, no one noticed how Alyssa's cheeks had tear tracks on them, or that her face was puffy, or that her eyes were bloodshot. Well, Julian and Walt did, but they thought it was a nightmare, so they didn't say anything.

But it was Carter that noticed that someone was missing.

"Where's Jaz?" he asked, slowly looking around the table to find the healer. The others finally realized that the blond was missing, and started looking around. Alyssa burst in tears.

"Alyssa?" Julian, alarmed, sat down next to the earth elementalist and carefully put a hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Before you go judging Alyssa as selfish, she had a perfectly well reason to be crying. Her best friend's mother was soon going to join Alyssa's mother, and Alyssa didn't want Jaz to feel the same she did all those years ago.

"Alyssa...?" Walt said cautiously, putting an arm around her shoulders from her other side. "What is it?"

Alyssa pushed the two boys away from her. "Leave me alone!" she cried, trying to stop the flowing tears. "Just stop it! It's all your fault that Jaz left! And not just you two! It's everyone here!"

She was breathing heavily after her short but very angry rant, looking at the stunned faces of all the trainees.

"All of you treat her like she's your therapist! You dump all your problems on her, and you don't even bother to learn about her! Most of you don't even know that she has siblings! Most of you don't even know her mother is dying!" More tears prickled Alyssa's eyes. "ALL OF YOU THINK SHE DOESN'T HAVE PROBLEMS OF HER OWN!" she finally yelled, and she stormed up to her dorm.

The inhabitants of Brooklyn House stared at one another, letting Alyssa's words sink in. And then it hit them like a taco truck. Especially to one person in particular.

Later in the night, Jaz was tucking in Cassie, a little blond five-year-old with wide blue eyes, in bed. "Sleep tight, Cassie. Don't let the bed bugs bite!" She poked Cassie's little stomach. Cassie giggled and closed her eyes. "Good night, Jazzy," Cassie whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too, Cassie," Jaz whispered, eyes softening, before turning the bedside table lamp on and turning off the room lights and heading to her own room. She stared at the full moon, unaware that someone else was also looking at the moon, trying to reach to her from Brooklyn House.

*::*::*

**Just a little Jaz-centric one-shot I wrote. I rather liked how it ended. I wrote this because a) I have a Jaz in my head, and b) how it was described in ToF how Walt spent time with Jaz about his problems and how Jaz was always giving Sadie advice. I felt like a lot of people went to Jaz for comfort, and it is rarely seen people giving Jaz advice about her problems. And I know by experience how that feels like - having a lot of people dump their problems on my shoulders and no one asking about mine.**

**Yes, the ending sounds like "Talking to the Moon" by Brunos Mars. And there might be a companion to this story...I don't know. :-/**

**Thanks for reading and tell me what you think!**

**The Understanding OvO,**

**Dream Out Loud 18**


End file.
